Parenting… Oy!

Man, I have so much and so little to say about this subject… Where do I begin? Well, first, let me just tell you, I love how I thought I knew everything about parenting before I was a mother. Man, I was full of opinions, I knew it all. I used to glare at those people who had their kids on a leash. Oh!! I despised those people. I was like, “Ugh! How dare you treat your kid like a dog?! You can’t even control your own kid!!” Now I’m like… “Hey, whatever you gotta do…” I mean eventually if you keep your kid on a leash you might be sending the wrong message to your kid, ya know, like “I can’t control you so I’m putting you on a leash.” But really… I get it. Parenting is hard! And you don’t know how hard it is until you’re there! It’s beautiful and fun and we all wouldn’t change it for the world, but it is hard, man. It tests your character. It tests who you are as a human being. It brings all of your flaws out to the forefront and makes you have to deal with them… And you all know, we have to deal with them. It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever done. And, of course, the hardest thing. But it is (and you all get this) the greatest love I have ever known…

About Michelle Stafford

Super Admin and Site Owner M s ! secret 2013

15 Responses to Parenting… Oy!

  1. Single Parenting…. Agrahhh! I did the Single Parent thing and there were three things I learned; 1) It was sooo much easier to lay down the law, the rules when raising my daughter. The rules were mine and the was No Negotiating! 2) It was TERRIFYING, there was no safety net. 3) It kept me strong, I was my own advocate as well as my daughter’s. Having my own authority, helped me remain strong. This time around I do co-parent. It is a VERY different experience, ” Hubby” and I sometimes butt heads regarding the children. Yet, for the most part he follows my lead. However, given the choice and the means, I’d be a single parent. You Go Michelle!!

  2. I used to think putting your kid on a leash was awful. Well until I was 7 months pregos and had a very active 1 1/2 year old toddler. She would just take off running. When out and about (she loved to walk not ride in the stroller) I had to put her on a leash. There was no chaseing her when you are that pregmant. At times it’s for safety. You gotta do what ya gotta do. I did get some rude comments from people. Miss you on Y&R.

  3. Liza Jones says:

    Amen to hardest job!! Heres my wisdom….I am a 40 yr old mother of 4 children. 17, 14, 9 & 8 two oldest are girls & youngest are boys, I have learned that as a parent there is a balance being a friend & parent but you have to know when to loosin the strings so they can learn life lessons. COMMUNICATION is the key. If kids smell hesitation, fear, or embarrassment from you they will not take those valuable life lessons that youve been sharing with them, seriously. You have too talk, listen, observe & FOR GODS SAKE……..dont believe what they tell you…….make them prove that you CAN BELIEVE what they tell you. If they are afraid you will find out cause you ALWAYS DO then they dont tend too want too lie. Just saying from my own experience SO FAR. Teenagers are straight A students and stickup for what they believe and respect authority when its appropriate and help me a lot with their brothers. AND BY THE WAY…..supper TOGETHER AT A TABLE may not seem important but when we didn’t and then changed that several years ago….kids occasionally will still say…mom I’m glad we eat together and get to talk about our days!

  4. Robert Smith says:

    Hi Michelle
    I sent you a fb message thanking you for your charity work on children. This is a blog entry that I hope explains why it needed to be done and even more today.
    This is about Vancouver Canada but most US states are on the same program.

    a decade ago the child poverty rate was 1 in 10, child poverty is the primary reason for youth involved with law resulting in the records being dramatically broke.
    The last record shattering rate in 2010 was 1 in 7. Just a couple of years later its now 1 in 5.
    Single mother families are leading the charge into poverty even though 85% of child support is paid in BC. The number of children on welfare is close to the poverty numbers, no surprise. Taking sole custody to historic highs a decade ago has now resulted in record child poverty and I repeat 85% of child support is paid in BC. The poverty is caused because the child support paid is clawed back by government as some sort of fee for being on welfare. Its not going to our most vulnerable children leaving them no better off than the children in the 15% that isn’t paid child support.
    The 2000 1 in 10 making up our current batch of troubled youth are the parents or older sibling of Gen U, the 1 in 7 batch turning street age in numbers in 2015.
    I have no idea what to call the 1 in 5 batch other than scary.

  5. I’m a big advocate of adoption. My husband & I tried all through my thirties to have a baby with no luck… I went to 3 specialists, tried everything… I mean everything, except stand on my head(LOL) and I was beginning to think I needed a instruction book(sorry, but you need a sense of humor when dealing with infertility)But anyway, no luck with trying to get pregnant. Finally after age 40, we started talking about adoption. We finally took the plunge as the clock was ticking loudly as far as being a parent. When I was 45 years old and my husband who was 42, we found a really great private adoption agency locally. We did all the necessary paperwork, it was a process and then a “waiting” game…. a long waiting game. But then again, I had been waiting since I was age 30 trying to get pregnant. So here I was, a middle age women desperate for a child when I got the phone call that they had a 2 week old healthy baby girl. I was 48 years old and thank god, we were in good health and good shape(need that energy)….. I love my little girl more than life itself.. She is now 7 years old, sweet, beautiful, smart, & creative, but then again, none of that really matters because I love her in a way I can’t even describe.. It’s like no other love, feels very unconditional…. I would encourage anyone married or single to seek adoption if the desire is there. And I always praise women who make the very unselfish choice of adoption for their baby versus abortion. I cannot imagine how difficult it is for these Moms, but there are many thankful adoptive families out there as we are one of them! We cannot imagine our life without her! Kim

  6. KimR says:

    I was a young mother all of 20 and I admit I thought that babysitting infants had me ready for when my son was born. Uh noooo!! I was clueless. And living 1300 miles from any family. It was a trial by error but the funnest and most rewarding thing ever. He was the easiet baby never cried loved his swing. Then kick me in the butt I had my second son 1 year and 3 weeks later. Talk about OY!! But I thought heck No 1 was a breeze. I can do two. Yea right. He was crying before he even came out and never stopped til he was like 2! Lol. My 3rd was my much wanted girl. (Thankfully 2 yrs later) born early and found out after she turned 1 she had cerebral palsy. Now that was a kick in the gut!! I love my kids and my boys ..God love them were (and still are) wonderful and with their sister still the joys of my life 27 years later . Just wait til you have grand kids!! 🙂 love your insight Michelle.

  7. I have 4 of them! The oldest is 23 years old, then there is the 10,9 and 8 year olds!
    People ask me all of the time, “How do you do it”? My answer, day by day!

    I wouldn’t have thought myself to be a mother of 4 when I was wild at 17, but motherhood was my calling and I am great at it!
    The real heroes are the working mom’s! How do you do it? I am about to find out myself as we launch a television series. It’s my peers, mentors, and working mom’s like you who inspire me to knock it out of the park!

    Thanks Michelle!

  8. I love how you fought to make your dreams come true by having a baby through surrogacy. You are so amazingly talented and Natalia is SO beautiful…just like you. I’m 43, unfortunately, I’m unable to have children and having CMT1, it is not possible for me to take care of a child. You are an amazing actress, daughter, mother, sister and friend to everyone in your everyday and to your loving fans. Btw, the #StaffordProject is AWESOME! I wish you the very best!!

    Your Loyal Fan Always,
    Cherokeegirl226 (Steph)

  9. I think it’s great you went ahead and had a child without a “man”. You wanted one child, not two. You go girl!!!

  10. I have 2 girls one 31 and one 12 with Down Syndrome they are the greatest joys of my life and I love them so much. It is definitely not one of the easiest jobs you will ever have as it has many challenges but the happiness you get back is priceless. I have also learned the joy and love of raising a special needs child so I feel very fortunate to have them both in my life . My husband who is my rock works 6 days a week but is always there for the important stuff, it’s what works for our family. BTW your daughter is adorable and so sorry to see you leave Y&R love that show.

  11. kathleen says:

    I love being a parent. I have two grown children and my husband was always working. I felt like a single mom. There are so many interesting stages you go through with them. It can be heartbreaking at times, when their hearts get broken and you want to fix everything for them. It is so rewarding when they are adults and you see the values you have shared with them become part of their own parenting. I am now a grandmother of two: Lydia – 1 and Tristan 3 1/2. I feel my life is complete and love spending time with both of them. Their love is priceless. My children and grand-children are my treasure. Enjoy each moment, love, hugs and kisses always…

  12. Barb Ward says:

    It’s a wonderful thing , parenting is and the love… oh the love… is like nothing that you’ve ever felt. It’s unselfish. Here’s the thing though. You don’t get a manual when a child enters your life. You have to use your instincts to navigate the path of parenting… and love. If you have love, then that’s really all you need. Best wishes are sent your way. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help and seek advise from others. It takes a village.

  13. Michele says:

    I am a new mom to a beautiful baby girl who just turned 7 months old. It is so true, I thought I knew it all and believed I was going to be a certain way as a mom…that was until she came into my life. All that I thought & believed has changed. It is the most difficult yet most rewarding part of my life. Sometimes your patience is challenged, sometimes it’s a breeze. You forget who YOU are at times but all I know is, she is my soul & I never knew love like this!!

    • I agree w the whole it takes a village. Im only 22 n i have 2 children a 1 yr old boy n a 2 yr old girl. The biological father n i are still together. He works alot so im with the kids full time. I agree as well that my life wouldnt be fullfilled if i didnt have my kids. I try to think as myself as a good mother. But as michelle said i to thought i knew it all. But i feel likey children are running around doing what ever they want when im around. When theyre with there father he says theyr geat. N the sec …no joke i walk down in the morning on the weekends they start winiing n raising hell….so my question is. How do i tqke back my kids they were so attentive n now that my son is older. And i remind u hes one hes destroying everything he touches. Help. I would love ur opinion . Im a huge fan and ur my favorite on ynr. Ur beautiful n smart n thank u for putting in your awsomeness into a soap i loved to watch to see ur scenes. Such a great actress. Thank you

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