“Men love me more than you!” “Men want me more than you!” “I’m prettier than you!” “I’m skinnier than you!” “I’m younger than you!” “My boobs are bigger than yours!” “I have more followers than you on Twitter!” Lord… When did women get so mean with each other? This is what I think – I think it comes from the ridiculous brainwashing of a time long past that says “If the man wants me, I must be better.” Seriously? I’m just glad that concept was never taught to me. I think I’m pretty cool regardless of whether a dude likes me or not. I guess some women gauge their own value on what a guy thinks of them. You always hear women preface things with “Men like it better…”
Men like it better when you have long hair. Men like it better when you have a tight ass. Men like, men like… What? Fuck men! You never hear a man say, “Oh bros! Women like it better when I wear these tight jeans.” “Hey guys, I’ll meet you at the basketball court in an hour. I gotta shave my balls cuz women like it better.” Or “I’m blow drying my hair tonight because women like that better.”
Geez… Why do women care what men like better!? Honestly girls, listen up – and this is gold: The man will take the vag any way it comes! They don’t really care. So, the joke is on you, sis. And don’t fool yourself; if you’re hot but a complete bore and needy – yo man is gonna leave your ass. Not because your boobs are fine, but because you don’t have a life! We all wanna be around fun people, not someone who’s a fucking bore.
But listen, bottom line is, IT SHOULDN’T MATTER. And also, other women are not the enemy. The real enemy is your own insecurity telling you that you are not enough, which is never created by anyone else. Only by you. So listen, if you don’t believe you are anything special, then just pretend. No one can tell anyway; they are too wrapped up in themselves. That’s the truth. And girls, let’s be nice to each other. We need each other. Statistically, the men die off way before us and we are just left with each other. And I wanna have fun chicks to hang with when I’m 80. It ain’t no big thing. We’re ALL pretty damn amazing and beautiful and spectacular. I mean, Lord have mercy, we give life. So believe it that you’re amazing. And remember, even if you don’t… Pretend.
You’re right, Michelle! Women are beautiful and amazing. They also make the best friends you will ever have. When we look to compete with each other, it comes from a place of insecurity. When we don’t love ourselves, our resentment of others comes from abandoning ourselves to compete by being someone we are not.
It’s amazing once you truly love yourself, all that need to compete slowly slips away. We no longer care what others think, or feel the need to be anyone but ourselves.
I went through this metamorphosis about 2 years ago and I now have more peace with myself than I’ve had my entire adult life. I no longer seek to find a man to “complete” me.
But, how do I love myself? This is what I’ve discovered …
The first step in loving yourself is seeing yourself in the same compassionate way you see others that you care about. This starts with an honest look at your journey so far. Where have you been, what have you been through, how have you responded in the midst of the ugliest of circumstances and where are you today in spite of all you’ve been through?
There is an exercise you can do to reveal this (from the book, “I’m Just That Into Me: You’re the One You’ve Been Waiting For”:
Starting from your childhood to today, revisit the significant events—meaning significant to you—in your life.
On a piece of paper make three separate columns.
The first column is **Age**. How old were you when the event occurred?
The second column is **Event**. What was the event? Write a short sentence summarizing what happened.
The third column is **Feelings**. How did you feel when it happened? Write a couple of feeling words to describe what you felt.
When you have completed this timeline from birth until now, take some time to reflect on what you’ve written. Note everything you’ve been through. Good and bad. How have you done with the cards you were dealt? Look at the timeline as if it were someone else, whom you cared about. How do you feel towards them, given everything they’ve been through? Are you amazed? Do you want to reach out and hug them?
This exercise is intended to help you break through and begin to see the beauty of the person you really are. Which is the beginning of extending the same compassion to yourself that you have more easily shown to others. Once you are kinder to yourself, I believe you will naturally be kinder to those around you.
-Dayna
Good Morning, Well we are into the beginning of 2018 and still miss
you terribly on the Young and Restless.
The new Phyllis is a gossip not passionate like you. Please come back
I know you’re sick of hearing this…but you are NEEDED on Y&R. The new lady is nice and all, but she isn’t Phyllis. Phyllis was dramatic and extremely passionate about things in her life…but the new Phyllis OVERacts and tooooo dramatic. I miss the real Phyllis #thatisall
I so agree with you Janielle! I am nearing 70 and have watched Y&R since the very first episode. Even when I was working, I was able to watch during my lunch hour. I can still remember when Tom Selleck was a character having an affair with Lori Lee Brooks! The reason I mention that is the actress who played Lori Lee Brooks was also an actress who had so much charisma–just like Michelle Stafford. They are like human spark plugs–you just can’t take your eyes away from them–they are so compelling. I hope some day the stars align and Michelle Stafford returns to Y&R.
I wish you would come back to Y&R loved you on their your daughter is beautiful .
Good luck god bless
Yes…still the real Phyllis!!
Love your work, & miss you on Y&R no one can play Phyllis like you!!!!
You conveniently left out that you are shallow and a racist.
“Victoria Rowell appeared on The Young and the Restless as Drucilla Winters, and in a recent lawsuit she insisted that the racial discrimination she experienced on set was the real reason she was forced to leave the show. The treatment she allegedly experienced while filming for the show is stunning and includes claims that she was actually spit on by one of her white co-stars Michelle Stafford.” She filed a lawsuit against CBS and Sony, the studios that produce the show. While Rowell has only recently filed the lawsuit, she has been speaking out about the alleged racial discrimination that happened on set for years.
Needless to say, I never watched you and it’s not likely that I will in the future. There is a special place in hell for people like you.
Seems to me that Michelle was just telling her what everyone else was not saying.
Seems that Victoria’s behavior toward others was rather horrible.
Victoria Rowell claimed in a new lawsuit her white Young and The Restless co-stars made her life a living hell. But set insiders tell RadarOnline.com that it was actually her diva behavior, and not racism, that made her a target.
Radar spoke exclusively with one leading cast member, who asked not to be named because of concerns they could be dragged into Rowell’s messy lawsuit against the show’s producers and networks.
The cast member said, “This isn’t a set that has racism as part of the fabric of what makes up the cast and crew. It’s a very diverse cast, and the fact is that Victoria was just difficult to work with.”
“She is tremendously talented, but like a lot of people in this business, there is a huge ego there,” the source continued. “At times, Victoria did act like a diva. She would always count her lines and want to see other cast members’ scripts, and could be seen comparing on screen time.
“It’s truly a shame that Victoria is no longer a part of the show because she was wildly popular with the fans, however,” the source admitted. “Scenes with her on-screen and off-screen nemesis Michelle Stafford were legendary! There was absolutely no love lost between those two.”
Indeed, Rowell claims in her lawsuit that Stafford “spat” on her on set, “called me a ‘freak’ then screamed, ‘no one here likes you.’”
Rowell made those claims in her lawsuit against Sony, CBS, and other defendants related to the show, which she filed in February. After the defendants asked a judge to toss the lawsuit, she filed an explosive declaration on June 10 detailing just why she says she should be compensated for mental anguish.
But another show insider said the color of her skin was not the issue. After African-American star Kristoff St. John’s son tragically committed suicide, for example, “Executives told him to take as much time off as he needed,” the source revealed. “The Y&R family rallied around Kristoff during that very sad time, and was a true comfort to him. There have never been any complaints from Kristoff about how he has been treated as an African-American cast member.”
St. John’s character, Neil Winters, was married to Rowell’s on the show, and the two “worked very well together. Kristoff really misses working with her, but not all of the off-screen drama,” the source added.
Rowell, who starred in more than 2,000 episodes of Y&R between 1990 and 2007, says that a “lack of racial equity on set at Y&R resulted in me being on the receiving end of various racially charged attacks, by white Y&R actors and executives.”
She now wants the opportunity for re-employment on the show, as well as damages for mental anguish.
However one source insisted, “The chances of Victoria returning are very slim.”
When are people in this nation going to STOP making everything a RACE issue???!!!!???? Paaleezzzzzz! The Civil War was fought a LONG time before Victoria Rowell was born and those before her!!!!! When are people going to stop making everything about…the color of your skin…….., what part of the world you were born in???? It is so sad!!! The nation of people and the world are sue-happy!!!! Anything for publicity or for an extra buck! Furthermore, were YOU there on set or behind the scenes when this “so-called” infraction to you occurred? Victoria is creating her OWN mental anguish, don’t be so quick to find someone to blame!
Now who is being hateful Shambra?? Don’t judge, lest you be judged! Michelle has enough of a following that your rude comment will not hurt her popularity. Did you ever think maybe Victoria Rowell has a possible chip on her shoulder for some reason? Just because someone can and will create a lawsuit against someone, does not necessarily mean it happened…..hearsay is not evidence of guilt.
No one can play Phyllis like you can. PLEASE return. I’ve been a fan since 1974, and love this show, but its missing YOU.
AGREE!!!! Loved you in Y & R, love you oh GH!!!! No one can play “crazy” like you Michelle! 😀 Keep up the great acting!
Y&R needs you back, Michelle!
Glad you are happy with your new things you have going it is not the same with you not on young and the restless I loved you on there this other woman just is not you wish you were still on there but good luck
Just stole this and posted it to my page. Absolutely loved it. Amen!!!!
ditto to being nice to and elevating other cool chicks…… BTW ..Ain’t no Phyllis who can take your place ever….:)
Yep!! Nancy you are so right!!
yeh… what she said
Love this article about loving your awesome self. How you don’t need to think about ‘what men’ want. Plus how women should be more supportive to each other – play nice
I miss you r&y soap
I love you Michelle, I am loving you on GH, can’t wait til you get out of that wheel chair. I miss the Red Hair.
I must say I agree with everything you are and what you said. I find a lot of women that are not very strong and very insecure within themselves. It’s important to be your own person before entering a relationship. I also find women that are very needy and men get very tired of that as well. I think it’s important for all women to have fun with a man and not need them but want them for the right reasons. You are absolutely right when a man can get tired and bored real fast when a woman is needy and insecure. I’ve never ever been needy or insecure in my life and was always fun, emotionally secure, comfortable within my own skin and strong. Maybe it’s one of the reasons I’ve always been single.
I wish you well in your new endeavor on General Hospital as Nina Clay. I’ve watched that soap well over 30 years.
Oh! Michelle, I have been with you since the first minute you first aired on Y & R, I love you, you are great, you are beautiful, you are smart and great at what you play in, no matter what or were it is. I am fifty four years old live in lee co Florida , would give my whole everything to be able to meet you just one time if not more, I’d love to have a sister as you. we’d have lots of fun. im so poor I can’t evens began to evens think of making any trips to meet any of my favorite stars, all’s I can do is dream, evens though I have proven dreams don’t come true, I was just diagnosed with Renal Artery Aneurysm on both of my Kidneys, one is at a one centimeter, the other at a 1.75, it will always be with me, until they reach a 2 centimeter they won’t do anything , there is only two surgeries they can do and if that don’t help im doomed. it will be five years on dialyses then death, you can only live for five years with dialyses if they don’t find a kidney for you to have a transplant. so yes im scared, watching my soaps is my life been doing it since I was five years old with my grandma 1965, when I didn’t go to school, for being sick. or missing the bus, we were raised by our fathers mom, grandma and great aunt. from time I was two years, old and my brother was one, im the oldest of them all. we been through a rough abusive life by our real mom and stepfather, from complete body bruising to molestation, so our dad and couldn’t keep us for he was in the service war world ll, so his mom raised us. we had some what of a good life except in school and in our neighborhood, the kids always fought with us do to not having a man around the house, or a father to stand up for us so we were always picked one, and always had to keep moving from home to home, school to school, and in adult life due to moving issues didn’t learn all we needed to , to make it in the world, so I live poorly, and continue to go through abuse in relationships. the only thing that keeps me going is my soaps, especially watching you. you are a fantastic , wonderful , beautiful , intelligent star, my favorite soap star. I also watch general hospital so I get to see you still, so happy for that. as I said I’d love to see you in person one day, meet victor on Y&R Danny whom use to play on Guiding Light got their photo’s with signature and photos with me next to them. be nice and grateful if one day I could meet you , but I know deep inside that will never happen, no one says we can’t keep dreaming till we pass and praying for it to come true. well sorry for talking your head off, I will forever watch you, till I can’t no more. or you no longer are no longer on television or movies. I watch your lifetime movie ever time I get the chance to, the one were your daughter ends up dead and you finally get the killer in the end. love that move. well till the day I get to meet you or pass out of this world, much love to you always your favorite friend Irene Reese FL.
OMG, Y*O*U are so COOL Michelle. My mother is going to be 80 May 30th, Mom had my little sister when Mom was 40. Mom and Nena have a GREAT relationship, my sister grew up to be an Commercial Electric Engineer. I believe mom had a lot to do with Nena’s success, as Mom was an Interstate Trucker and ran Intrastate when Nena was a baby. Mom used to take Nena in the truck with her in her 100ml radius of delivery. Nena learned what it was to be an Strong Woman with Determination as Mom is, and seeing the Real Y*O*U as you speak about yourself here on your site. I can appreciate and admire your views on life and such and am wishing you much happiness with your daughter!!
I am Mom’s live in caregiver, Mom has been an Y&R fan since the show began, I love my Mother, so I take an active interest in Mom’s interest, so I do know the cast. WE have been missing you, the show is not the same without Y*O*U, Mom’s waiting for Phylis to knock Sharon out when Phylis comes back from the hospital, ha, ha – Y*O*U “Go Granny!!
Like I say Y*O*U are an Really Cool Lady, we’re waiting to SEE Y*O*U again on the show, Mom says to tell you HELLO!! );})
Miss seeing you on Y&R
I always felt your yr Phyllis was an in your face and all she had to do was smile and walk in the room. I miss that strong character she always beamed thru the tube always made me feel like girl you can do anything.
Michelle you are awesome!!!! You tell things how you see it Keep it up and I will keep reading.
Michelle ,All of those things that you say guys don’t say Like shaving their balls and blow drying their hair. I say those thing to my Buds all of the time! Am I weird??????
Love it! Wish my 29 year old daughter would get it! With a mom like me I would have thought she wouldn’t value herself based on what men think about her. I always say, you don’t like the way I look, then don’t look at me!!
OMG Michelle you are so right!!!!! and I am glad I was schooled just like you and you no what I ended up with one of THE BEST MEN I KNOW for 20 years now..Hopefully younger women and girls will listen to your sound advice
.
You so rock Michelle!!! Truly an inspiration to all women!!! Keep up the good work!
Loved the article, mostly because I am a guy that raised a daughter by myself and who took special care to at least try to raise her as a strong, independent woman with self-esteem based on what was in her heart and mind and not “what some guy” thought.
BTW love The Stafford Project also. Keep the episodes coming!
Sheer brilliance.
…. You saying this is another reason to love you !!
Hope the Veg grows up feeling this way, too.
Wish I had received that message in my formative years, but it is never to late to learn. I’ll pass it on.
That is awesome. I am sharing this with my 17 year old daughter who seems to be caught in this damn trap