Okay, I get MANY woman asking me about fertility and infertility. This is the deal over here gals (and any of you guys who want to know about my “woman parts”): I am actually quite fertile, there just were a couple other things that were lagging with me.
Without going into it, cuz frankly you already know too much about my anatomy as it is, my ovaries have always been working great, so I can’t really comment on infertility. But gals, here’s the thing I am going to comment on: society “teaches” us that life is pretty much coming to an end for a woman who is in her forties. You know what I say to that? BULLSHIT… And, oh um… BULLSHIT again. Seriously, my daughter was conceived when I was 42!
I am a woman in my 40s. I am a mother of a three-year-old right now and I’m a damn great mother! And a damn great single mother at that! Honestly, I would have sucked at the job in my twenties. What’s different with who I am now and who I was in my twenties is, now I’m smarter, wiser, more patient, funnier, more calm, nicer, saner, and my ass and tits are slightly lower. I think that’s an okay price to pay for all those other qualities, don’t you? I mean, it’s true, a woman probably could get pregnant at the drop of a hat in her 20s, but who’s to say you can’t get pregnant in your 40s and then be a great mother? It may be a little more difficult, but so what!
When I was trying to get pregnant years ago, every single doctor I went to (and there were many) said “We don’t have the answers for pregnancy.” All of them told me that they didn’t know why it worked for some women and not for others (who had all of their organs intact). All of the doctors I saw based their opinions on stats – and that was it. So there… that’s from the experts! Now, my advice… I say PRACTICE! Yes!! Lot’s of practice! (that means SEX for those of you who need it broken down) For no other reason than… It’s fun! It’s really fun!!
Enjoy being a woman whose life is really beginning again!! And say a big “PISS OFF” to anyone who tries to tell you it’s over because you’re “40.” They’re just jealous because you’re such a hot bitch!
Okay so…I’ve watched the Y & R for 32 years> This has been the most BORING part…I am not sure I remember so much turn. Burning off the best part of the show….Phyllis of course and now Adam??
Okay let me really say…No one will ever replace you! You are who I’ve grown up with:)
First time here and wow! I’m 41, don’t have kids & never really wanted to be a mom but I’m the crazy aunt every kid needs! I grew up with a family of great women who taught me the older you get the better it gets. When I asked what “it” was they told me everything! I started getting excited about turning 40 when I hit 35 and my older sister told me I was nuts and honestly the only that sucked about turning 40 was that Mama had passed away a few months before. The best thing about being 40 & getting older in general is I know myself better, I’ve learned that I don’t need to live my life by committee. I make my choices, live my life and if the people around me like it, great…come along for the ride. If not, well that’s life.
You are very special……and quite beautiful as well. Will miss you very much on the show. Will keep informed on your webcast.
I had my 1st baby at 40, life began for me then!
So happy it all worked out for you- I had the same exact experience (hit on by gyno and all!) but not fortunate enough to have a surrogate. My ovaries hyperstimulated too, lots of fun.
I went through it before people really heard of infertility, and you validated me when you pushed Kelly Preston in the pool… felt like that sooooo many times!!!!!!! People are really very insensitive to it and you gave us a little voice there. THANK YOU. All the pent up frustration with no place to put it and you made it better in one episode!! You rock!
Great site! Long time Y&R watcher here. I remember a few years ago when your daughter was born – I was all “Go Michelle!” So glad you finally got your little girl!
My fertility was also not in question – in my 40’s, I discovered I could GET pregnant, just couldn’t STAY pregnant – six miscarraiges and many $$$ later a wonderful fertility doc found a genetic issue that prevented me from carrying to term. So there I was – 43, single, no marraige prospects in sight – and I was tired of spending nights perusing the donor catalog. Then my amazing doc, after discussing all my options (donor eggs, surrogacy, adoption, etc.) made a statement that totally put things in perspective – he said “We can work together to get you pregnant, but you need to ask yourself first – is your goal to get pregnant, or to bring a baby home?” After some soul searching and through a series of amazing life happenings, I adopted my baby girl from Guatemala – BEST decision I ever made! That was 8 years ago – I can’t hardly remember my life before her. Yeah, it was hard those nights when she was up teething til 3 AM and I was alone and exhausted, but I never once regretted becoming a single mom. I’m always amused hearing friends and neighbors who bitch about their husbands being gone and how they have to tough it out for a night or two till he comes back, and I’m all ….”really? Try doing it 24/7! I have to clean the house, take care of the kid, take the car in to have the oil changed, do the laundry, mow the grass, AND go work 8 hours a day to pay the mortgage!!” …. but I digress. Strong women don’t really spend time sitting around bitching about what needs to be done – they just DO it!
I’m forever grateful that I became a Mom for the first time at 43…. I think my pre-child life experiences have made me an awesome mom, and my patience level, which once was so short, has soared every day I sit totally fascinated and delighted with everything this child does. Having kids earlier would have been nice, no doubt, but I think being an older mom really lets you see and appreciate your little miracle so much more than you would have when you were younger, and still growing up yourself…. and I wouldn’t change a single thing 🙂 Technically I’m old enough to be the grandma to some of the kids in my child’s classroom…. (and been called that a few times, too…ahem…) but I could care less. I would not trade places with one of those younger moms for love nor money! Moms our age ROCK!!!
I am a volunteer at Project Cuddle and was at their Spooktacular event last night. You looked great and did a fantastic job hosting the event! I admire your dedication to such a worthy cause and could see that you are genuine and have a kind & compassionate heart! You’ve just gained another fan! Best of luck with The Stafford Project!
Hi Michelle, met you at the y and r dinner at Sheraton. You are my favorite daytime actress. Please come back to put Sharon where she belongs!
I am hopeful after reading your story about having a child after forty. I am 42, and recently my doctor said my eggs were too old and a lot of other bs! Just because of age, no tests were done. I left feeling a bit depressed. I have crossed paths with a few people lately that have had children in their forties. My aunt had her two girls at 45 and 48. She said that her labors were actually easier than when she had her other children in her twenties!
No can play her like u…ur my favorite…plus u are sexy….
Please come to Y&R I love u playn Phyllis…just to give Sharon what she deserves…please!!!!
Please, Please, Please consider rejoining the cast of Y&R as Phyllis!!! We miss you!!! No one else can play Phyllis!!!
I just love you personality…And you right different strokes for some Women…Unfortunately I wasn’t able to conceive due to Endometriosis,and im 28…But what’s for you is for you through the grace of God…Love you Lady:-)
I know this has nothing to do with the post but I just want to say that you are a very talented actress! I really hope Y&R does not end the character of Phyllis just yet. I am hoping that one day you will decide to come back & Phyllis will awaken from her coma….but that is just wishful thinking!
Michelle your posts are ALWAYS spot on!
I’m 42 years old and had my second child at 40, my first born at 29, suffered post partum depression was sick to my stomach, it was a tough journey, I got through it. My recent pregnancy…ultrasound after ultrasound, amnio, genetics testing blah blah blah and all because I was OLDer….high risk…..etc. Well my recent pregnancy was a breeze….. had him in 40 minutes… no meds (not by choice I might add) but was on my feet within hours. Getting use to the night feeding was probably the toughest. So there! We’re not old! We’re just beginning our big bad journey called LIFE!
Keep up all the great work. The Stafford Project RoCkSSS!!! Looking forward to more.
Michelle, you will be missed and loved. and what your doing is great. hope that you will
return to young and restless one day terry TX
Michelle, I know you will probably never read this but I have to express my ridiculous appreciation for your onscreen passion and talent. Week after week, year after year I have intently watched you on Y&R and often found myself able to live with my life decisions knowing “that’s exactly what Phyllis would do!” Your character lends itself to real life, through drama, tragedy, laughter, joy, and tears, you make me believe through your craft that life unpredictable is the only way to live. I’m so happy you’ve made it doing something you obviously love because, isn’t that every girls dream? I will miss you on Y&R every single day, but follow you wherever you go… me still wandering through life asking myself “WWPD” Whatever character you play, DONT EVER CHANGE. You’re EXACTLY who you were meant to play. Love, a fan for life ~ Stephanie Birch O’Donnell
Michelle!! My best friend, Marilyn, and I are just HEART SICK over you leaving the Young and Restless. The whole show has LOST its FIRE! and enough with Neil and his BORING story. We just can’t get over losing you–:) What in the WORLD is it gonna take to get you back on the show–also, we would be just as happy if you would do a feature film and some more–ALOT more life-time movies. We just miss you and your acting–Poor JACK! The guy just can’t get a break but although Marilyn wants you and NIck together forever, I have been watching longer than her–and I think you and Jack would tear up the whole corporate world and rule the roost.
Anyway–I raised my daughter, Vanessa, by myself. She is on her own now, as I had her at 20 years old, and living in San Diego in corporate for Wells Fargo. I spend my birthday with her Sept 7th as I am flying out there. Marilyn and I will be in LA the 4-6. She is TOTALLY smitten with you as an actress–you came to Austin a while back and she and I came to see you and Nick. You are more beautiful in person that on TV and you are a total beauty on TV. Please give us an update on your goings and comings on the screen and TV–we LOVE you!! and we MISS you! and are still depressed everyday we turn on the Young and Restless. Your daughter is ADORABLE! Sincerely, Karen Martin (Martinkaren8@aol.com) please drop me a line if you have a minute! we are staying at a hotel on the Ave. of the Stars–I forget which one–but it is swanky–and we will be there Sept. 4–will you be taping anywhere?
I have been trying like crazy to get a message to you Ms. Stafford. The Y&R story line about your fall and head injury sure hit close to home. I wasn’t stairs but for some reason I fainted and hit my head on concrete parking lot and sustained a 6″ skull fracture, severe concussion, frontal lobe brain bleeds etc. I was unconscious for over a week and in ICU a month with no memory of it at all. You always hear stories and questions about does the unconscious person know you are there? Do they hear you talk to them? In my experience the answer was no. About 25 days are totally missing but I did survive it and have some funny and weird leftover effects. One will be all the hate mail I will write if they even think about writing you out of Y&R. I have watched it since its premiere a long time ago and yeah I’m old but one day I’d love to get to “Glittertown” aka Genoa City and see a taping and say hi to the best in the business of daytime! Regards and come back soon!
Love this blog, I am 44 don’t have any children but I love what you have to say about being over 40. Your awesome!
Hi this is Jaymie from Oshkosh Wi. I had seen your 1st show before you had it aired. I <3 it. But I never what TV ch picked it up so I can see ALL your "NEW" ones.!! I will see some on U tube . PLEASE tell me the company OR NETWORK!! Thank you. I love your acting ability "IT'S ENDLESS"!! REALLY!!! 🙂 !
Had fertility probs in my early twenties. Had my kiddos when I was 25/27/29 yrs old. Was so happy! You take life as it comes. #sothankful
Thank you so much Ms. Stafford for posting this. I am currently 30 years old and an aunt to many wonderful nieces and nephews with no children of my own. I have a couple of nieces with at least one child and often get the feeling that I’m “running out of time” to have my own. Reading your post really encouraged me to stay positive and believe that if it is meant to be it will be, whether I’m 45 or 50! So thank you again for your wonderful insight on this topic!
~Forever a fan <3
Hi!Michelle,I just wanna say that as a 40 years plus, you look fantastic, loved you on the young and the restless and good luck on your new endeavours.From what I’ve seen your new show is gonna be a hit.and who says that life is over at 40 is full of it! Big fan of yours, all the best for you and your daughter! Bye now!
Of course, as a man, I cannot comment on everything you have been going through, just like so many other women out there. I will just say, with what I have experienced and seen over these past 7 years…So many women are conceiving every 12 months sometimes. Others are conceiving when they are 17. From what I see, being a parent seems to be the most rewarding job ever. Some young women try their best though. But some don’t. Which means, these children are basically raising themselves, sometimes for the worse.
We keep saying the same: Over 40 = bad eggs, wheelchair when the child will be graduating, etc. But you gave good reasons about why sometimes waiting is better. The child benefits from your own experience.
My sister had her first at 33. But as she always said, I have enjoyed the parties, great sex, a bit of debauchery, etc, but now I know what it means to have been living everything I lived so I can tell my children what’s best and what’s not for them.
I won’t be a father myself. But when I am around my nephews, I always think about their future and I feel like they have so many things to live. So are all these women. So they may think that it’s over when they hit 40 (that’s what my mother said actually – she became a grams 5 years later) – but there’s a time for everything. If you feel like waiting a bit more…Then go. If you experience problems, well, many problems have a solution or an alternative one, I think. Age doesn’t make you a better mom as you can be 40 with a 20 yr old child, look as young as this child but stumbled as a mother for years.
BUT…Even if you stumble, whether you are 20, or a new 40 something mother…The key is love. And to me, it is just about that. Not age, or condition, just love.
So to all of you mothers out there, who love their child just like you do Michelle…Hats off. x
I got 10 years on you, I’ve kinda gone to luke warm myself but I can still Bitch. Gotta keep something. Had my first at 29, second at 35 – glad I was that old too.
Amen sister. I am going to remember your very wise words when I turn 40 soon.
You are as great of a mother as I know. Keep up the great work. Love you guys!!!
PS: Thank goodness I wasn’t the one pregnant and she had food poisoning? LOL!
Amen! Way back in the day I was 20 and my wife was 35, (20 years ago) and we tried and tried for a year, was told cause of her age that it wouldn’t happen, then one day after not trying, we both woke up sick and we went to doctor and I had food poisoning from Dairy Queen and she had well, morning sickness. So, it’s all very weird how all that stuff works down there, when it’s supposed to happen, it will. If it can’t happen physically, then there are many ways to make a family! I love you Michelle and N.!